3 posts tagged “broken heart”

Feeling alone and empty

Jan 8, 2008
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Looking back, and seriously thinking that I have never been lonely, depressed and sick like I feel now.

A lot of things had happened in my life, and I must admit that I haven't moved on yet. There are still things that I can't believe happened, people I cannot believe already left, and moved on, people who are "suppose" to be moving away but chooses to stay, and annoy me.

How can someone rule over your mind and heart when that "someone" wasn't even thinking of you, right at this very moment? Or doesn't even care about your feelings, or does care, but ignores the feeling?

I wish I could go back to my old life, when things were less complicated, when things were "under control". I wish people who left and will be leaving will just stay, and people who "stayed", leave me alone now. My heart and soul's too broken to face everything that's happening to me. Depression is really killing my brain now.

An Open Letter to the one I can't be with - by: sugarpop of GT

Jan 8, 2008
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Just wanna share this. I soooo can relate.

An Open Letter to the one I can't be with - by: sugarpop of GT

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't end it sooner. I knew it would come to this. I knew there would come a time letting go of you would be like cutting off a part of my limbs.

I'm sorry I made it go on for so long. I made it last this long even if I knew we were never a match. Even if I knew I was dragging myself into a trap, I stayed. I tried.

I'm sorry I made the wrong decision. I decided to stick with you even if I felt like you were not enjoying. Even when I saw you'd rather be somewhere else instead, I held on to you.

I'm sorry I was too weak. I didn't have enough courage to tell you I was in pain. I held it all in, praying things would change. I kept it inside; hoping things would be different when I opened my eyes the next day.

I'm sorry I lied. I led myself to believe everything was okay. Even though all the signs pointed to no, I still kept telling myself yes.

I'm sorry I gave you so many chances. I led you to believe second, third, fourth chances were easily acquired. For the times I tore down the wall simply because I wanted to be with you.

I’m sorry I am where I am now. A girl wanting so much to be with you; a girl who can’t make you love her, a girl who would still choose not to end it, fight to make it last, opt to be weak just to be with you, lie to make you feel loved, tear down the wall just for you.

I’m sorry I love you.

“Explore and Move on…”

Jan 8, 2008
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I don’t know how to start explaining how much hurt I have inside my heart right at this moment. I don’t know how I can survive feeling this pain inside my never ending broken heart. I guess my friends were right, he said those words because HE IS HAPPY NOW. My friends told me that if I love him and if I care for his happiness, I should LET GO. How can you possibly let go of the person whom you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with?

All I want is a happy ending but how will it happen if the person I want to share with my happy ending is already a part of someone's happy ending? Isn’t it just so unfair? And hurts like hell?

I watched the movie, “One more chance”, and I guess it was true that people leave us because someone will arrive and will make things better for us, someone who will love us, someone who will not hurt us and the one person who will make things all worthwhile.

But don’t get me wrong, the feeling I am feeling right now is so much pain, that sometimes all I want to do is just sleep so I won’t feel the pain. I feel so tired of getting brokenhearted, being miserable, being unwanted, being alone and being pathetic. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how and what to feel, what to say or do if people ask me about how I am, when my family ask about him, I don’t know what to say. It was just so hard.

And yes, I conclude, it was really the end of me and him. The end of the memories, and plans that are now nonsense, and useless. The end of our love story, the end of everything between me and him. I just don’t want to see him nor communicate with him anymore. My heart can’t afford to see him again because it might be break again, and I will begin picking the pieces again. It’s the end. God, I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe that this is really the end. But I guess this is it. A close book for Brenda and Eric.